The monster’s favorite monster movies

AIDS Monster Movie Marathon

Teenagers from the land of Poz

“Interview with the AIDS Monster,” a special Halloween treat of the AIDS Monster Movie Marathon, continues with its frighteningly freaky interview with Count Randolpho de St. Mark Boyd, famous star of the infamous but classic AIDS Monster Movies…

Randy Boyd’s Blocks: Ladies and Gentlemen, here now, the great Count Randolpho’s personal list of his top 15 all-time greatest classics from the AIDS Monster Movie series.
Count Randolpho de St. Mark Boyd: Finally, Thank you. Thought you’d never ask. Here’s my list of favorite movies, followed by my own personal commentary.

  • An AIDS Monster Is Born – Hey, we all gotta start somewhere, right?
  • Lost on AIDS Island – Story of a small American coastal village gripped by fear of a mysterious STD that kills. I’d rank it higher, but it kinda felt weird to me when the AIDS Monster was the only one left standing in the end, after every one killed each over being scared to death of me.
  • General AIDS Hospital of Horrors – Later re-released as 9 daze n Hell. Tightly shot, darkly lit, a psychotic monster is unleashed on an innocent little hospital run by nuns. I’m not sure I ever recovered fully from that emotionally draining shoot.
  • AIDS Monster Vs. the Needler – Ah, yes, the drug-themed thriller. The crash at the end was kinda a bummer.
  • The AIDS Monster Goes to Washington – A patient black man dreams of change and making a difference in the world. He even dreams of meeting a black president who shows him some love and compassion.
  • Bride of AIDS Monster – In spite of the sad ending where the beast is alone again, it’s a nice piece of work. So was she. The AIDS Monster wouldn’t mind working with her again, if you know what I mean.
  • Son of AIDS Monster – It could happen now, you know, thanks to science.
  • Take My HIV, Please! – It didn’t do so well at the box office, but hey, I love musical comedy.
  • Clean People vs. the Poz People – As per usual, the first installment was the best and Clean People vs. the Poz People 17, Revenge for the Return of Patient Zero, did not work at all.
  • Teenagers from the Land of Poz – What can I say? It was my breakout role in a runaway hit. So what, if in real life, I was a 23 year-old UCLA cheerleader who had just been infected with the virus by an anonymous donor. The actors on 90210 are way older than their characters, too.
  • Stop Fighting AIDS Already! – My one shot at playing a boxer who could’ve been a contender. Lucci’d again at award time. I could’ve been … never mind.
  • Dawn of the Disease-Ridden – The black and white cinematography rocked.
  • Night of the Poz People – The follow-up to Dawn of the Disease-Ridden. We did it better the second time around. The white’s man conspiracy angle scored well in the urban markets.
  • Attack of the AIDS Monster – Back to the Future wasn’t the only hit of 1985.

And the Count’s favorite AIDS Monster Movie of all time …

  • A Mother’s Worst Nightmare – What can I say, I love physcho dramas.

Randy Boyd’s Blocks: Fascinating and enlightening, if not just a bit entirely creepy. Count Randolpho, is there anything else you’d like to add?
Count Randolpho de St. Mark Boyd: I see you remembered what the great Cordello taught you in journalism when you were a North Central High School Panther. You’re a good Joe the Writer.

Q: Anything else?
A: Coming soon to a bookshelf near you: The Bearcat Boyz on the Road of Life, Bearcat Boyz 1 by Randy Boyd. Life is nothing but a Dreamville. Oh, and one more thing…

Q: Go.
A: Have you hugged your AIDS Monster today?

Interview with the AIDS Monster, a special part of the AIDS Monster Movie Marathon @ Randy Boyds Blocks, posted backwards in installments throughout Halloween Weekend, 2008.